whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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