don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
