I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
