I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
