my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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