I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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