I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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