is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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