walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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