I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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