I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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