Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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