i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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