As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
