Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
