I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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