is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
