I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize