i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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