If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
