His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
