I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
