oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You made out with two different species that night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
