i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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