So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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