I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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