I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
