3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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