Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
