just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
