I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
