i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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