is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize