Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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