I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if only i could text you this smell
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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