I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hope mine doesn't look like that
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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