Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
