Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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