Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
