i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
