I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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