he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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