i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
