I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
