it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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