4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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