Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
