if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
