I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just found puke in my bra..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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