let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My balls are so social today.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
