Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
