I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
